distinctness is instinctive.
Do you like pineapple on pizza or is it the bane of your existence? Okay, now, say this is known about you that you have this opinion on pizza toppings.
Now, with this information, say it's your first day at a new school and you introduced yourself the the class saying "I love/hate pineapple on pizza''. some of your peers say "same!" or "ew!". When it's time for lunch and you recognize two people, one said "same!' and the other said "ew!", who would you rather sit by?
If you said "the person who said 'same!''', well guess what. Literally since The Dawn Of Man have humans been sticking by those who look like them/have the same beliefs, ideas, religions, etc. As we know, there's power in groups, so they end up villainizing those different from the perceived status quo, whether it's small remarks/beliefs held or massive atrocities.
I just gave you a super boiled down version of like why every war has happened/why stereotypes/prejudices exist.
Now, with this information in mind, I'd like to clarify that it's not an awful thing to have opinions. I grew up moving schools a lot so the way I usually scouted out my friends was asking about peoples' interests and going from there. However, a girl who has an alternative aesthetic and a girl who dresses 2023 preppy-esque can have the same music taste in, say, Taylor Swift. In high school (mostly public highschools with no uniform), people mostly seek out their friends by finding people with the same aesthetic/taste in clothing as them. That's why in beloved teen movies such as 'Clueless' or 'Mean Girls' there's scenes in which the main character is shown the different cliques within the school that are differentiated by their visual aesthetics. There's a whole song about it in 'High School Musical' where the peers who announce their interests that wouldn't be guessed by their appearance (ex: nerdy girl likes breakdancing, basketball guy likes baking) are shunned by the ensemble.
The clothing that is represented by said cliques isn't the problem, per se. In a way it identifies what a person's values/interests are (ex: modesty = more likely to be religious, band tees = a personal interest in music/music culture whether it be real or larping) yes, but the problem is that it attaches ideas to the clothing that doesn't necessarily represent one's personality. Girls that dress in pink/feminine colors are more likely to be viewed as dumb, jocks are seen as mean/bullies, and kids who dress alternative are attention-seeking/cringe/left wing. My point is, these ideas are not necessarily true. Challenging stereotypes is needed in order to meet people and have a rich life with great people.
My personal solution to this is to be yourself and not let anyone box you in a specific area. Talk to a new person instead of a friend on the first day of school, try mixing and matching colors and patterns to find new combos, do things that make you distinct. Don't just follow trends! but don't be too different on purpose, like trying too hard to be niche. When people ask you where your shoes are from, don't gatekeep! Be authentic, be kind, and be unique.
xoxo, Louisa
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